Canseco Knows Best or “How Steroids Will Destroy Your Mind”

If you haven’t been following world’s best twitter user/resident crazy person Jose Canseco’s twitter feed, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?!?!?!

Half of the Ambiguously Steroided Duo aka “The Bash Brothers”

and no, not these Bash Brothers.

If you don’t know who they are, you had no childhood and I feel sorry for you

has taken to twitter recently to remind the world that he 1- is still alive and kickin’ and 2 – bringin’ the cray to the interwebs as fast as Amanda Bynes (seriously, that girl’s tweets should come with a prescription for penicillin – you’ll feel diseased/shame after reading them). Thankfully, Jose’s tweets fall more towards the “are you for real? is this real life?” spectrum of crazy than the “this is a violation of my eyes and mind” spectrum of which Ms. Bynes falls under (seriously, Amanda, I REALLY didn’t need to know you want Drake to “murder your vagina”. WAY WAY WAY TMI. It’s like those car accidents you keep getting in removed you of any sense of shame/functionality in normal society).

But back to the OTHER crazy town, population: Jose.

Mr. Canseco has been delighting the twitterverse with his ramblings since he opened an account. From his earlier oeuvre, Jose tweeting about:

  • aliens getting a hold of his twitter account 
  • dying and becoming a vampire (and apparently, we’re all his apprentices)
  • while being dead, hanging out with “Elvis” and “Michael” (I’m assuming Presley and Jackson…but with Jose you never know. It could have been Elvis Billingham and Michael Otterstein)
  • needing an attorney because his landlord evicted him (but kept his “chandaleers”)
  • requesting to be a consultant on Eastbound & Down (because we all know Kenny Powers is basically Jose)
  • offering a sweet package where people could pay to hang out with him for the day (I guess his attorneys’ fees are pretty high. Also, I wonder if the package would include Performance Enhancing Drugs or if it would be more of a “BYOD”)

That was like a YEAR ago. And Jose has been keepin’ on with his tweets, each one slightly crazier than before.

Recently, Jose tackled science, specifically the difference between ‘gravity’ and ‘ancient gravity‘. Apparently, there IS a difference. Ancient gravity was WAY weaker. Otherwise, how could dinosaurs be so nimble? Or giant birds flying? Who knew the guy who opened baseball’s pandora’s box was also is an amateur scientist!?!?

Besides winning the internet with science, Jose wants to ‘duet’ a painting with former President George W Bush. You may not remember, but Jose is also something of an artist. He painted this eerily accurate painting of MLB Commish, Bud Selig.

I especially like the red eyes & giant horns

I especially like the red eyes & giant horns

Without twitter, we never would have known what an artiste Jose is!

And then there was “Vaticanseco”

When Pope Benedict stepped down a few months ago, the world speculated who would be Pope. And, Religious Scholar that is he, Jose put in his two cents. Sanity may have lost, but the world won with Canseco selecting himself to be the new Pontiff. And, if that didn’t work out? He and Man-Ram would be willing to come play for the Cleveland Indians this season (no joke). So, Pope or probable bench player for the tribe. Either one is fine with him. He REALLY wants a spot on the Indians, using the hashtag #rolltribe on more than one occasion.

Jose Indians

As a diehard Cleveland Indians fan, I say BRING IT ON. With the Indians at the forefront of social media (Social Suite, anyone?), it seems like a no-brainer to have a twitter superstar on the roster. He doesn’t even have to play. They can just give him the title of “Chief Tweeter” and let him go to town, tweeting about whatever his little steroided heart desired (and it would have been glorious). And you KNOW he would have been ALL over the Indians’ Harlam Shake video.

There really is no way to put the epicness of Jose’s tweets into words. I couldn’t do it justice. So I’ll just let the man speak for himself.

Jose Pope Twitter

Vatican scholar. And worried about a Pope B16 Conspriacy

First Bud Selig, now THE DONALD. I would pay $$$ to watch this being painted.

First Bud Selig, now THE DONALD. I would pay $$$ to watch this being painted.

Actually, I would pay $$$$$$ to see this.

Actually, I would pay $$$$$$ to see this.

Jose is a regular So-crates (and if you didn't pronounce it like Bill & Ted, I don't know if we can be friends)

Jose is a regular So-crates (and if you didn’t pronounce it like Bill & Ted, I don’t know if we can be friends)

This sounds like the plot of a bad made-for-tv Lifetime movie. Maybe I'll pen the script myself & get Jose to play himself.

This sounds like the plot of a bad made-for-tv Lifetime movie. Maybe I’ll pen the script myself & get Jose to play himself. Romance ensues. I think Jose could probably take Jody on.

Concerned friend. I know if I was in North Korea, I'd want Jose to have my back.

Concerned friend. I know if I was in North Korea, I’d want Jose to have my back.

I don't even know. There are no words.

I don’t even know. There are no words.

someone is definitely a little grumpy. Also, would Jose like to be the pot or the kettle? (or maybe the walkman or hypercolor tee shirt? you know, both relics of the 90s)

someone is definitely a little grumpy. Also, would Jose like to be the pot or the kettle? (or maybe the walkman or hypercolor tee shirt? you know, both relics of the 90s)

Jose Bill Nye 1

Aww, Jose feels bad. Hugs for Bill (but, Bill, I wouldn’t go taking that hug. His arms look like they could strangle a boa constrictor. And not the baby kind)

Where did we find out entertainment before the internet, seriously.

Were professional athletes always this crazy and we just didn’t know about it? I mean, if Wilt Chamberlain or Mickey Mantle had twitter or foursquare, do you think it would have been all, “getting my drink on with my boys!”, ‘checking in’ at strip clubs and bars, and maybe a “lady counter” for Chamberlain (you know, so he could keep track of his conquests)? Could you IMAGINE the psycho ramblings of a Ty Cobb (hello, racism. See also: John Rocker). Or “Broadway Joe” Namath? Or Bill “Spaceman” Lee? John McEnroe (the epic twitter meltdown would have happened)? Or even Billy Martin (he could have a counter of the number of times he was fired as Yankee Skipper)?

Since we’ll never know, we’ll have to make due with the current crop of crazies (other than Jose):

Tonya Harding would also be a win on twitter, but I don’t think she’s taken up that mantle yet. So this is my formal invitation to

Dear Tonya— PLEASE GET ON TWITTER! THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS ON EVERYTHING!

Signed, the world.

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Pretend Husband of the Day: Jon Hunstman Edition

See this guy?

huntsman_0

Why am I smiling? Because I am a spectacular human being.

That’s Jon Huntsman. He’s a former Governor of Utah, former Ambassador to Singapore and China, and a former GOP Presidential candidate.

He is also a badass. And my pretend husband of the day.

“But, Stacey,” you may ask. “He’s a scrawny white Mormon Republican from Utah. I think you and I have very different versions of what the definition of a ‘badass’ is.”

I would normally agree with you. The other white Mormon Republican who ran for President is pretty boring. Good man.  Not very exciting. Very status quo.

But after after Huntsman penned this opinion piece in the American Conservative last week, I changed my mind. Jon Huntsman IS a badass. The subject of his essay? Marriage Equality. As in, EVERYONE should have the right to marry the person they love (with obvious exceptions: you can’t marry your brother, your cat, or a Kardashian).

Marriage equality has been a huge area of consternation for the Grand Old Party. Since the party has been taken over by psychos on the religious right (Hi, Rick Santorum! I don’t miss you! Even though you DO look like Bob Saget), same-sex marriage has overtaken abortion as the single most divisive issue within the Republican Party. In August at the National Convention, convention go-ers adopted a strongly worded platform banning gay marriage, angering more middle-of-the-road Republicans. Opponents of same-sex marriage like Santorum, who recently said gay marriage isn’t in the best interest for the country, and Maggie Gallagher, who started the National Association for Marriage, have been very vocal and have been let to speak for the right as a whole, letting the party of Lincoln and Roosevelt be known as anti-gay, therefore, anti-civil rights.

And that’s not right.

I don’t know where this hatred (and, yes, I’m using the word hatred. It’s not minor disgust or disapproval. This is hatred) of the gay community comes from. Some point to the Bible, screeching “It’s in here! God said it’s a sin.” Not to split hairs or anything, but the Bible also forbids a lot of things that many of us are guilty of doing daily. A sampling? getting a tattoo, working on the Sabbath, women speaking in Houses of God, eating a ham sandwich (this also include bacon. yikes), children disobeying their parents, and (I’ve saved the best for last)–GOSSIP.

Yup, The Bible also forbids gossip. If you’re basing your entire hatred for gays because the Bible says so, you should also probably look at the other areas of your life. Chances are, you’ve probably eaten ham or bacon and I’d be willing to stake a paycheck that you’ve engaged in a little gossip (or at very least, visited Perez Hilton). Should we be banning bacon and ham and forcing Perez, Entertainment Tonight and US Weekly to shut down because “It’s against the moral fabric of society”?

I don’t think so.

So, unless the National Organization for Marriage, Focus on the Family, and the dozens of other Anti-Same-Sex Marriage groups trolling around also want to pick up the “Anti-Bacon” mantle, I don’t put much stock into their opinion. And all that business about how two dudes wanting to get marriage and raise a family is going to be destructive to the country, I say really? I can think of lots of things that are WAY more destructive to society than two people deciding to commit to eachother. Namely, the Jersey Shore, the Kardashians, and every single one of these people.

The point is, somewhere along the way, the GOP became synonymous with being hateful. And if you dared speak out against the psychos on the right wing, you got booted out of the party or labeled a RINO. They liked the status quo and didn’t want anyone to make waves. Publicly disagreeing with “those in charge” meant you’d be pushed off the national stage and left for dead. Instead of meaningful discourse, those that had a different view (be it on marriage, abortion, gun laws, etc.), sat silent while the same psychos on the religious right took over. Having a “liberal” view on social policies, especially, meant certain (political) death.

Which is why Huntsman’s essay on embracing and championing gay rights is pretty badass. Risking a political future because he can’t sit and watch crazies on the right dictate BAD POLICY is pretty badass (in my opionion). A key exerpt:

Today we have an opportunity to do more: conservatives should start to lead again and push their states to join the nine others that allow all their citizens to marry. I’ve been married for 29 years. My marriage has been the greatest joy of my life. There is nothing conservative about denying other Americans the ability to forge that same relationship with the person they love.All Americans should be treated equally by the law, whether they marry in a church, another religious institution, or a town hall.

That was last week. This week over 100 Republicans signed an amicus brief urging the Supreme Court to declare gay couples have a constitutional right to wed, including Huntsman, former head of EBay (and CA gubernatorial nominee) Meg Whitman, Congresswoman Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, Former Governor Christine Todd Whitman,  and John McCain’s campaign head Steve Schmidt. The brief was orchestrated by former RNC Chair Ken Mehlman, who came out two years ago and has received some serious media attention.

I say: it’s about time.

Yesterday, Republican speechwriter-turned-author David Frum wrote in the Daily Beast about his decision to add his name to the brief. Frum, who had been a long-time opponent of gay marriage, has had what can be described as a “Come to Jesus Moment”, saying,  “Stopping same-sex marriages does nothing to support families battered by economic adversity. Instead, it excludes and punishes people who seek only to live as conservatives would urge them to live. Treating same-sex partnerships differently from husband-wife marriages only serves to divide and antagonize those who ought to be working together.”

Exactly. It’s heartening to see prominent Republicans like Gov. Huntsman and Frum speaking up and recognizing basic rights. The economy is still in the toilet and thousands of Americans are still out of work. Rather than screech about how Tom and Eddie’s marriage is going to cause the downfall of humanity, we should be focusing on ways to ensure Tom and Eddie have jobs to take care of their children.

And, in case you needed further convincing (which, I don’t know why you would), look at this

if your heart didn't melt, I suspect you don't have one

if your heart didn’t melt, I suspect you don’t have one

*disclosure: I am a Republican. I support the party of Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Coolidge and Reagan. Not the party of Foster Friess, Maggie Gallagher and Rick Santorum.

Oscar Predictions 2013

The 85th annual Academy Awards are scheduled to start in just a few short hours. Some may call them “The Superbowl for people who don’t care about football” (which I suppose makes the Superbowl the Academy Awards for people who don’t care about award shows). In either case it’s basically a bunch of famous people under one roof being all self-congratulatory in front of the cameras.

In both cases, I can’t get enough.

Last year, I attempted to liveblog the event, but got bored halfway through (aka fell asleep). I’m giving it my second attempt this year, but no promises. I’m watching it at the BFF’s house and she has a nine-month old who is MUCH more interesting than ‘Best Sound Mixing’.

So, just in case I get lost in a few (hundred) games of peek-a-boo, I wanted to at very least, give my Oscar predictions. But only in the categories that aren’t boring. Again, sorry ‘Best Sound Mixing’, but I don’t really care about you.

So, without wasting any more time, here’s how I see the Oscars 2013 going:

Best Picture:  Amour, Argo, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Django Unchained, Les Misérables, Life of Pi, Lincoln, Silver Linings Playbook, Zero Dark Thirty

What will win: Argo

What should win: Lincoln

I liked Argo, don’t get me wrong. In fact, I think there were a lot of really great movies out this year. Chuckie from Good Will Hunting made a really excellent film AND was able to convince Alan Arkin and John Goodman to film pretty much all of their scenes together. It is basically a win.

However, I don’t think it was the BEST movie of the year. Despite being a film that was essentially made to win awards, Lincoln was far and away the best movie I saw all year (and not just because I’m a history nerd…although that helps).

Best Actor in a Leading Role: Bradley Cooper, Daniel Day-Lewis, Hugh Jackman, Joaquin Phoenix, Denzel Washington

Who will win: Daniel Day-Lewis

Who should win: Daniel Day-Lewis

Sorry everyone not named “Daniel Day-Lewis”, but you are going to lose. It’s not even a contest. In any other year, any of the other nominees would have had a chance, but DDL just KILLED IT as the 16th President. He was perfect. Almost as perfect as this scene from Last Of The Mohicans

Best Actress in a Leading Role: Jessica Chastain, Jennifer Lawrence, Emmanuelle Riva, Quvenzhané Wallis, Naomi Watts

Who will win: Jennifer Lawrence

Who should win: Naomi Watts

To be honest, the only performance I saw was Jessica Chastain in Zero Dark Thirty and she was quite good. But all of the buzz is surrounding Jennifer Lawrence this year. Personally, I’d like to see Naomi Watts win for no other reason than to stick it to her former (or maybe current?) BFF, Nicole Kidman who was too busy to film a 60 Minutes segment for her bestie after her nominations (Botox injections is apparently a full-time job these days)

Best Actor in a Supporting Role: Alan Arkin, Robert DeNiro, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Tommy Lee Jones, Christoph Waltz

Who will win: toss up, but likely Robert DeNiro

Who should win: Alan Arkin or Christoph Waltz

This is probably the closest call in all of the categories. Literally, ANY of these guys could win and they’d all be deserving. I didn’t see Silver Linings, but, like J-Law, there has been mad buzz around DeNiro’s performance. He’s due for a win, especially considering this is probably the best role he’s been able to get in over a decade.

Personally, I’d go with either Alan Arkin. He essentially plays the same character over and over again, but does it with such aplumb and charisma that you can’t help but throw every conceivable accolade at him. If not Arkin, I’d give the hardware to Christoph Waltz, who made everyone want to become a dentist-turned-bounty hunter with a BFF named Django.

Best Actress in a Supporting Role: Amy Adams, Anne Hathaway, Helen Hunt, Sally Field, Jacki Weaver

Who will win: Anne Hathaway

Who should win: Anne Hathaway

By far the weakest category, but it doesn’t matter. Anne Hathaway will win. I didn’t see The Master or The Sessions, so I have no opinion on Amy Adams or Helen Hunt (same with Silver Linings and Jacki Weaver), but I did see Lincoln and thought Sally Field was nothing special and actually, incredibly annoying as Mary Todd Lincoln. The best thing about Field’s performance? Frank Caliendo’s review of Lincoln as Jim Rome where he called Field “Mary Todd Gidget”.

Best Director: Amour (Michael Haneke), Beasts of the Southern Wild (Benh Zeitlin), Life of Pi (Ang Lee), Silver Linings Playbook (David O. Russell), Lincoln (Steven Spielberg)

Who will win: Steven Spielberg

Who should win: Kathryn Bigelow. Oh wait, she wasn’t nominated.

Spielberg will win. Since Ben Affleck and Kathryn Bigelow were both snubbed, I’d be surprised if anyone walked away with the Oscar that wasn’t Spielberg.

On that note, I’ll leave everyone with the promise to be back later for a liveblog. But, before I do, let’s all watch that Daniel Day-Lewis Last of the Mohicans scene one more time.

*sigh* Perfection.

long time, no write

I’m alive. I swear. There’s been a lot going on in Casa D (and my life) and I decided to take some time away from the blog.

Basically: I needed a break.

While I’m not entirely ready to explain EVERYTHING, I am ready to talk about some things beyond my usual pop culture rants, top ten lists and dumb-things-that-happen-to-me recollections.

For instance? I’e decided to go back here.

I guess I’m a sadist. Just like Anastasia Steele

But don’t worry. I won’t stray too far from my bread and butter. There are far too many things happening in the world of pop culture for me to ignore. Besides, The Bachelorette started. And that show BEGS to be mocked. And law school will simply add to the amount of dumb things that happen in my life. Seriously. Have you ever met a law student (or worse, a group of law students)? They’re awful (and oftentimes rather stupid) creatures. There are entire blogs (or blawgs, if you will) devoted to the idiocy of law students. [Don’t believe me? Check out my girl, Legally Fab]

I’m taking a summer class taught by one of my favorite human beings (not just law professors) ever, KFO. Barely an hour into the class, I was able to identify the class’s gunner. I’m already trying to figure out a way to tape his mouth shut for the duration of the semester. I whispered to my friend, Pete, today that there is an excellent chance that I will fight this guy by the end of the semester. He agreed the OG (Original Gunna) needs to be stopped. I’ll keep y’all updated.

In other news, Will Smith reminds everyone that he is, in fact, King of Awesome by performing the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song on the Graham Norton Show.

I totally want to be best friends with him.

“In the future everyone dresses like Katy Perry”

Oh sweet little blog, I have neglected you for FAR too long. And you, my dear readers, I’ve neglected you too. I’m sorry. If I could send you all fountain diet cokes and chocolate chip cookies as “I’m sorry presents”, I totally would. Because, really, is there anything better than fountain diet coke and homemade chocolate chip cookies? I think not.

There’s a LOT going on in my life at the moment and rather than bore y’all with the details, I’m going to gloss over everything. Because, frankly (ugh, I’m starting to sound like Newt Gingrich. Minus the Tiffany’s line of credit. And the megalomania), I’m entirely exhausted of talking about it. But I DO promise a post in the near future explaining everything. I just don’t have it in me right now. Besides, the weather is way too nice to be talking (or even thinking) about depressing things.

The long Easter weekend was just about perfect. I caught up with friends and family in the C-L-E that I hadn’t seen in forever (but there are still many many more that need to be remedied!) and had some much-needed downtime to relax.

Let’s recap.

Thursday was Cleveland Indians Opening Day, which happens to be one of my FAVORITE days of the year. Terry Pluto, one of my all-time favorite writers, wrote an excellent column about the tradition of Opening Day last week that I can’t even begin to sum up. Just click the link and read it, even if you’re not a baseball fan. If you’re a fan of family, traditions, history or have any sort of heart at all, you’ll appreciate it.

Opening Day always makes me think about my family, particularly my siblings and my dad (and by extension, my super-amazing late grandfather). Baseball for us, like many families, is special. It ties us together. Some of my earliest memories are going to baseball games at the old Municipal Stadium with my dad and grandfather. Because I was a picky eater as a kid, my mom ALWAYS packed me a sandwich (I hated hot dogs) and two orange Kool Aid juice boxes. Why two? One for me and one for my grandfather, duh (why I didn’t insist on three is beyond me. Sorry, Dad!). Now, I’m sure the last thing he wanted to drink at the ballpark was orange flavored sugar water and would have MUCH rather preferred a beer (these WERE the 1980s Cleveland Indians. Boozing was required to get through a game), he always humored me and acted like he couldn’t imagine sitting through a baseball game without one. Now that’s true love, people. I wish I had some pictures of the three of us at a game, but, sadly, the best I can do is the memories in my head. Or perhaps draw a picture. I’m very good with stick figures.

This clip from “Field of Dreams” (a Casa D staple growing up) that says it all. Baseball is a constant. It ties generations together. History is respected. There’s a reason on Opening Day you see so many families sitting together, three (or more!) generations laughing (usually at the Tribe’s expense) and cheering. I know one day if I ever have children, I’ll be taking them down to Jacobs Field (whatever, it’ll never be Progressive Field to me), each April, molding them into the sad little creatures the rest of the world knows as “The Cleveland Sports Fan”

Thursday also meant dinner with m’bestie, Sarah (or Kres, or Mama-to-be. She answers to them all). We hit up Angelo’s Pizza in Lakewood for a much needed catch-up session and some yummy margarita pizza. If you haven’t been there before (and live in the CLE), I highly suggest going. The dining area is quite small and fills up quickly in the evenings, but no worries. They do take out and delivery.

And, on Saturday, I FINALLY got to see THIS with my friend, Rachel.

I was so excited and so spastic about FINALLY getting to see Katniss and Peeta (and Cinna! Heart you so bad, Lenny Kravitz), I knocked my diet coke into my purse. So for the remainder of the day, I walked around with wet handbag that also smelled like diet coke. But it didn’t matter. I was too pumped about the movie to care.

I normally don’t get this excited for books-turning-into-movies (the Winona Ryder “Little Women” is an exception. I think I talked about seeing that movie for six months until it came out and my mother was forced to take me—and sit with me while I cried my little eyes out). We’ve already discussed my hatred for all things “Twilight” and I’m not huge on Nicholas Sparks/John Grisham/Whatever-Chick-Lit-Is-Being-Optioned-Today. That’s not to say I don’t like reading those books (with the exception of Nicholas Sparks. I can read one of his books and feel like I’ve read them all). I do. I might make an exception if my girl Jen Lancaster ever options one of her books into a movie. But normally, I’m a book girl. Always have been, always will be.

But, “The Hunger Games” won me over. And I’m happy to report Rach and I were NOT the oldest people in the movie theater.

However, we WERE the snarkiest. We can’t help it. It just happens. It’s innate in us. We BREATHE snark.

Not ten minutes into the movie, Rachel leans over to me and whispers (in a scary, futuristic voice) “In the future, everyone dresses like Katy Perry.” (if you’ve seen the movie—or even previews—you’ll notice that most of the people in it look like extras from a Katy Perry video or, at very least, like they’ve raided Lady Gaga’s closet).

I laughed so hard, I choked on my popcorn.

I’m sure we annoyed everyone else sitting around us with our running commentary: “Think that kid will turn into a werewolf now?” “Ohh, I wonder where Lenny got his gold eyeliner. I wonder if the girls at Sephora can help me later” and “There should definitely be an ‘Avengers’ type movie with Katniss, Peeta, Edward Cullen and Bella. And the ‘Babysitters Club’ can show up too. You know, to get our generation into it” (I should preface by saying that Rach and I have long ago said goodbye to our teenage years).

Sadly, I would definitely watch a ‘Babysitters Club Hunger Games” (No doubt Kristy Thomas would win. She’s a cutthroat bi-oytch, that one).

Easter was lovely. Lots of food and family. My mom, sister and cousins made my Aunt Carol a scrapbook (like the one we made for my grandmother) and we FINALLY finished it on Saturday. We were so pumped to give it to her and, no surprise, she loved it. Being away from family really makes you appreciate the time you do have.

So that’s it. I have to catch up on tonight’s episode of “The Voice” (Tony Lucca better be safe, or I’m blaming Christina Aguilera. But, whatever, I’d blame her for something else).

i’m wearing my outrage glasses #savegreendale

I was driving home after having dinner with one of my favorite ladies of all time (hi, Sam!) when I saw something terrible.

NBC has put Community on indefinite hiatus!

Say it isn’t so! For those of you that don’t know, Community is the 8:00 NBC Thursday sitcom about a group of weirdos that form a study group at a Colorado Community College. That’s it. That’s the entire premise. Sure, there are other weirdo  characters (a Dean that likes cross dressing and a former Spanish teacher that now lives in the vents of the school with a monkey named Annie’s Boobs. yup, I couldn’t make that up if I wanted to).

It’s a wildly funny, offbeat and really smart show. They’re one of the few shining examples of sitcoms trying to use ‘meta’ humor and not failing miserably. Yes, the show is a little weird…but, seriously, did you not read the premise? Still don’t believe me that its funny? Check out some of Season 2’s best moments here:

Chevy Chase KILLS me as Pierce (follow @oldwhitemansays on twitter!) and Joel McHale was the perfect choice to play Jeff. It’s definitely an odd little show that probably doesn’t have mass appeal (Everybody Loves Raymond, this is not), but it’s a brave, witty little show that I think if more people watched, they’d really like.

So today, NBC announced their midseason line-up, and (sadly) Community was nowhere to be found. Even worse was that Whitney is still on the schedule (yuck!). I understand NBC wanting to get rid of some of their crappy shows (bye bye Playboy Club!) and low performing (I’ll miss you, Prime Suspect! And Maria Bello–I still love you!). But what I don’t understand is putting a show that, even though it has a small audience, recieves constant praise, but greenlights more episodes of seriously awful awful television.

Yes, Whitney Cummings, I’m looking at you.

I’m the first person to cry foul when someone say something along the lines of “Women comediennes just aren’t funny.” Really? Just because I have a va-jay-jay I can’t be funny? Some of the funniest people I know are women and some of the funniest comedians out there are of the female persuasion. Are you REALLY trying to tell me Tiny Fey isn’t funny? Or Amy Poehler? (seriously, have you NOT seen Parks and Rec? Netflix it. Now.) Or Kristen Wiig? Or Melissa McCarthy? (again, have you NOT seen Bridesmaids? She’s getting OSCAR buzz! For a COMEDY!!). And can we even begin to talk about the amazing Joan Rivers? Or Lucille Ball? Or Gilda Radner? All seriously seriously funny people. And are all ladies. Sure, for every Mindy Kaling (go buy her book! here!) there’s a Jeanne Garofalo (ugh. terrible.). But come on, gentleman. You guys have Dane Cook, Carrot Top and Larry the Cable Guy (not to mention all of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour)

But any legitimate claims I have seem to leave when someone mentions Whitney Cummings, star and creator of the aforementioned horrific Whitney. Imagine the most unlikeable female sitcom character and multiply her by a thousand. That’s Whitney.

terrible.

Anyway, not the point of this (other than NBC is letting THAT remain on the air in all it’s terrible, unfunny, laugh-tracked awfulness and sidelining Community)

Just hours after it was announced, somebody created Save Greendale [dot com]–THE online presence to (hopefully) save this terrific (and terrifically funny) show.

People are already taking to blogs and twitter, including this open letter to NBC from Maureen Ryan (a fellow television comedy aficionado), urging people to write, blog and tweet at NBC, encouraging them to #SaveGreeendale! (I’m already obsessing over the hashtag). So I’m following suit and encouraging everyone I know (whether or not you like the show) to contact NBC (or at least tweet at them) to Save the Greendale Human Beings! (and if you ask really nicely, I might even let you borrow my DVDs).

Because, really, why should this be renewed and not this! (p.s. I would so marry Jeffrey Winger)

twice in less than twenty-four hours???

I know. I didn’t expect to write anything again so soon. However, I wanted to get it down before I forgot (again, I’m trying this whole ‘blog while I’m thinking about it’ thing. Even if it means I’m writing at 3 am.)

My costume was a hit. Well, would have been a hit. I ended up staying at the first party I went to all evening. It was a total accident and I am so sorry that I didn’t get a chance to get to the other parties and see everyone else. I ended up at my friends Bill and Leslie’s, catching up with people, most of which I’ve known since I was 18. I hadn’t seen some of them in years (And, to be fair, I missed B&L’s labor day extravanganza. I was horribly hungover from my college roomie, Sara’s, bridal shower/bachelorette weekend and it would have been torture for anyone to be around me in my miserable state. So, I wanted to make up for it.)

B&L were college sweethearts and some of my favorite people. I cannot imagine two more opposite people (he’s a lawyer, she’s a teacher), but they just work. I was much closer to Bill in college, but I’m so glad I’ve gotten to know Leslie better since graduating. I’m so glad they are back in my life and that they only live a few minutes away.

As I was sitting around their kitchen table, their dog, Mosby, lying on my feet, I looked around and had to smile. I was surrounded by Katy Perry, Daphne and Fred from Scooby Doo, Hugh Hefner and Athena (or maybe it was Persephone. Whatever, I can’t remember & it wasn’t that important) and a few other random costumes that were in various stages of removal (seriously, who wants to wear a hot itchy wig all evening—not this girl). Even though I hadn’t seen some of these people in years, it was like no time had passed. No awkward silences or “soooo, what are you up to these days?” Just a lot of laughing and teasing and skittle vodka (yes, they took skittles and combined it with vodka. Yes, I drank it. No, I’m not throwing up.). It got me thinking that sometimes those are the truest friendships—the ones that even though embarrassing amounts have time have passed, you go on like nothing has changed.

And it’s not just B&L and the rest of the party-goers that I’m glad to have back in my life. I got a text from my OTHER college roommate (and another all time Stacey favorite), Mollie, telling me that she and her little girl, Kate, were thinking of coming to the CLE in a few weeks. I immediately texted back and said “yes, and you have to stay with me!” I haven’t seen them since Kate was born (FYI, I am a terrible friend) even though they only live an hour and a half away. I’m already planning fun things for the 3 of us to do while they’re here.

I guess the point I’m trying to make (and not very succinctly) is that I was so blessed to have friends from college that aren’t thousands of miles away and I should make a point to see them more (this especially means you, Julia!) and reconnect. Ashland, Ohio was very good to me friendship-wise and sometimes I need reminding of that.