I still hate you, Christina Aguilera, but you have an excellent song

There’s a scene from Mean Girls (one of my favorite movies of ALL TIMES) that’s pretty poignant (no, not “You go, Glenn Coco” or, my personal favorite “You smell like a baby prostitute”).

Damien is singing at the school’s holiday pageant (not very well), but clearly giving it his all, despite being booed and heckled. Hell, he even gets sassy in the middle of the song and fights back.

While it’s clearly a very funny scene (um, hello, isn’t ALL of Mean Girls basically perfect?), there’s a certain seriousness to it.

Some may not get it.

But I do.

A few months ago, my one of my perennial favorite ladies, Jennifer Weiner, wrote an essay in Allure Magazine called “The F Word”. The dreaded word so many women beat themselves up over (and over and over again)? Fat. After past-his-prime critic Rex Reed insulted actress Melissa McCarthy by calling her “tractor-sized” and a “female hippo” last week, (and his refusal to apologize), I wanted to share J-Wein’s gem of an essay.

Jen gets it. We’re chubby soul sisters.

To summarize (but really, just go and read it for yourself—it’s worth spending a few minutes), Weiner recalls a recent conversation with her nine-year-old daughter, Lucy. Lucy is complaining about a “frenemy” (come on ladies—we all had/have them) and in explaining why she doesn’t like this girl, she says, “She’s mean, she’s bad at math, she’s terrible at kickball. And…she’s fat.”

Weiner, who calls herself “a size 16 on a good day,” then is forced to have a talk with her “blithe, leggy, honey-blonde daughter,” about using the “f word.” Weiner explains, “I’d spent the nine years since her birth getting ready for this day, the day we’d have to have the conversation about this dreaded, stinging word. I had a well-honed, consoling speech at the ready. I knew exactly what to say to the girl on the receiving end of the taunts and the teasing, but in all of my imaginings, it never once occurred to me that my daughter would be the one who used the F word. Fat.”

Weiner then recounts her own struggles (and shame) with her weight. In reading it, I saw myself. In recalling incidents from her life, I cried. I cried for Jennifer. I cried for every girl who has ever been taunted, mocked or made to feel she’s ugly, unworthy or unlovable. And I cried for myself. But, in truth, I didn’t need to read Jennifer’s accounts of her life. I’ve lived it.

I’ve struggled with my weight for nearly as long as I can remember. And, like Jennifer, I’ve never been at a point in my life when I haven’t been keenly aware of my size. A particular passage of her essay stuck with me:

There are five girls named Jennifer making their way across the Promised Land with my group that summer. “Oh, not the fat Jennifer,” I hear one of my tour mates saying matter-of-factly to another as we hang out by our kibbutz swimming pool, holding his hands out a good foot away from his hips to indicate my girth, “the other one.” So that is me: not the Jennifer who loves to read, or who listens to the Smiths and is the most sought-after babysitter in town. Not the Jennifer on the honor roll, the one who can swim a mile without stopping: the fat one.

I am incandescent with shame, knowing that fat is, by far, the worst thing you can be. Fat is lazy, fat is gross, fat is sloppy…and, worst of all, fat is forever. Michelle has a full-on Frida Kahlo moustache. Kim has terrible skin. But Michelle could wax and Kim could go on Accutane; I am going to be fat—and, hence, undesirable, unlovable, a walking joke—for the rest of my life.

It’s like Jennifer got into my brain, pulling out all of the fears, insecurities, and feelings I had supressed for most of my life. And she nailed it. I’m not Stacey with a killer sense of humor, who loves to read, and listen the Black Keys and Grace Potter and is great at her job. No, those things aren’t important. I’m Stacey—the fat one. That’s the only identifier that matters. And, for a long long LONG time, I believed that.

Jen managed to put down what every girl struggling with her weight is afraid of: I am going to be fat—and, hence, undesirable, unlovable, a walking joke—for the rest of my life.

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I want a text from Hillary…

I’m going to say something that might shock a lot of you.

Hillary Clinton is awesome.

I know, I know. Sometimes I don’t agree with her politically, but I can’t help but think she’s totally and completely awesome. Despite her speech at the Women in the World Summit (which was ridiculous), I’m not ashamed to say I’m a Republican that loves Hillary Clinton (that’s totally for you Dara!).

And I’m clearly not the only one. In case you’ve been living under a rock (or perhaps don’t spend stupid amounts of time on the interwebs like a certain someone), you’ve missed the best tumblr since Newt Judges You.

Enter Texts From Hillary.

Basically, this badass picture of Hil started circulating around the internet.

photo from the Atlantic Wire

Pretty awesome, no?

Then the fun really began.

 

HIL-arious.

But wait. It gets better. Madam Secretary was so tickled by it, she created one herself.

Obsessed.

In other political news (I know, I know. I promised I wouldn’t get political, but I can’t help it), Rick Santorum ended his Presidential campaign, clearing the way for Thurston Howell III…I mean Mitt Romney. I can’t say I’m totally surprised. The writing was on the wall and it was becoming obvious Santorum wasn’t going to win (are you listening, Newt Gingrich?? Clearly you aren’t.) and wisely decided to leave the race. But not before giving America a taste of the Santorum crazy-train.

Here’s my own list of my favorite (read: batshit crazy) moments of Santorum 2012:

alienating the voters of Puerto Rico

freaking out on Charlie Rose over Foster Friess’ aspirin comment

advocating a Romney/Ron Paul conspiracy theory (NOT ironically)

holding a ‘family values’ campaign event at a shady Michigan nightclub

calling the President a bad dad (and a snob)

Oh Rick Santorum, I’ll miss you! (I don’t think Newt will though)

I watch tv like a Democrat?

I know I said I wouldn’t get political on this blog, but Entertainment Weekly posted this the other day. A list of the most/least popular shows amongst Republicans/Democrats.

And according to the list, I apparently watch television like a Democrat.

Even stranger, the shows that the Republicans really hate, I really love (hello! Bridezillas and My Fair Wedding?!?! WE owns my soul).

Just a sample: the top Democrat-lovin’ shows: 30 Rock, Parks & Rec, Daily Show & Colbert Reports, Modern Family, Cougar Town, the View (did you just see me cromit into the wastecan? I can’t help it. If someone mentions The View I have a very visceral reaction), It’s Always Sunny, and Glee

Sample of the GOP-lovin’ shows: Swamp Loggers, the Bachelor, Castle, Mythbusters, the Middle (which I love love love), Wheel of Fortune (really?), The Mentalist, NCIS (so thew new ’24’), and the Biggest Loser.

If you were to look at my DVR (well, the ones that I set. Not the ones Lee the D sets) and compare it to the EW list, you would suspect I was a super liberal Democrat. Parks & Rec! 30 Rock! Modern Family! It’s Always Sunny! Project Runway! Noticeably absent Swamp Loggers (seriously, what IS that show?), anything with Larry the Cable guy (remember this post in which I bemoan how unfunny Larry actually is?) and Dancing With The Stars. And, ok, there is more than a handful of Hawaii 5-0 and NCIS, but that’s ALLLLL Lee the D. Going by this list, he’d be a pretty typical Republican.

However, I do think this list MAY be a little flawed. I don’t think this really speaks to Democrats v. Republicans, but really older viewers v. younger viewers. I fear that the Democrats they spoke to were all under 35 and the Republicans they spoke to were all over 45. Wheel of Fortune? REALLY? I don’t know ANYONE under the age of 70 that watches the Wheel (and that includes Republicans).

While I don’t think this is a total example of media bias (make the Dems look cool while those loser-y Republicans look like lame-os), it does back points made that most media outlets want Republicans to be seen as out-of-touch, out-of-date, Middle America losers while the Democrats get to look like the hip, with-it, masters of all that is awesome. Most of the Republicans I know (and I do know a lot) would look at this list and laugh. “Do they REALLY think all of us sit around watching ‘The Wheel’ and Larry the Cable Guy” I imagine more than a few of them would say (including myself). I’m more likely to vote for Barak Obama than sit through an episode of Man v. Wild (or ANYTHING with Larry the Cable Guy). I love Liz Lemon and her weird co-workers on 30 Rock. I want to go to Paddy’s Pub in South Philly and hang out with Dee, Dennis, Mac & Charlie, I want to be adopted by Tim Gunn (sorry Mom & Dad—he can adopt you guys too!).

What do you guys think. Is the list legit or a total crock? (if you got the 3 Men and a Little Lady reference, bonus points for you)

EDIT: I was wrong—my friend Joanmarie (who IS under the age of 70) watches “the Wheel”—I stand corrected 🙂

in the criminal justice system the people are represented…

I have an obsessive personality. When I like something, I don’t just like it, I LOVE it and am besotted by it until the end of time (or, at least, until I’ve found a new object of desire). Pink is my favorite color, so I own more pink swag than should be allowed (handbags! office supplies! shoes! scarves! clothing!) I even contemplated dying my dog pink (just like my hero Courtney Stodden)! Okay, that last bit is completely untrue. Maggie wouldn’t be able to sit still long enough for the dye to take root…

Point being is that I am generally not a casual fan…or anything. When I was a kid, I was OBSESSED with boy bands (NSYNC, BSB, 98*, etc.). I swore I’d be a devoted fan until the end of time. Embarrassing story: I used to sign all of my notes to my girlfriends “KTBSPA (keep the backstreet pride alive) and stay *NSYNC.” I’m sure the girls remember this (and don’t lie, you did it too!). I adore politics and watch hours upon hours of FoxNews & read the political rags religiously (I was probably the only 16 year old to list Donald Rumsfeld as the “person I’d most like to meet”). When I was growing up I didn’t just “like” the Babysitters Club: I wanted to be a member. Basically—I get addicted to things easily.

Besides politics & books, my longest running obsession has been with Law & Order. Any kind, any time. If it’s on, I’ll be watching (even if I’ve seen the episode at least six times, it doesn’t matter). It’s my favorite show of all time (I prefer the original, but any other kind will do in a pinch).

The only other person that’s as obsessed with the L&O franchise as myself is my mother, Mama D (Lee the D—my dad—also is a fan, but his tastes run more towards Mark Harmon & NCIS or Jack Bauer & 24). She, like me, prefers the original, but (also like me), will watch any and all forms of Law & Order if they are on television without complaint.

On a run to JoAnn Fabrics to buy more scrapbooking supplies (we’re hosting a scrapping party tomorrow!), we got into the discussion of our top ten favorite Law & Order characters of all time (all incantations).

Without further ado, the Disterhof-approved top 10 of Law & Order

10. Detective Cyrus Lupo (Jeremy Sisto) on Law & Order

I’ve loved Jeremy Sisto since I first saw him as the Cranberries lovin’, deep-voiced having, ‘rollin’ with the homies’ Elton from Clueless. Fast forward 10 years and he ended up as Ed Green’s newest partner on my favorite show. Lupo (or “Lupes” as he affectionately started to be called) was a breath of fresh air into the Law & Order franchise. Though really intense (he was the best foil for the more light-hearted Ed Green and later Kevin Bernard) but you actually bought him as a cop. Plus, look at how cute he was (is).

9. Dr. Emil Skoda (JK Simmons) Law & Order & SVU

The only recurring character on my list. Though the franchise has had other doctors (George Huang, Liz Olivet, Melinda Warner, etc.), Skoda is (in my opinion) the best. While Olivet had been personality-less and sort of meek, Skoda came in with tons of personality and didn’t let anyone walk all over him. Besides, he was Mr. Pancakes in “The Ladykillers”. What’s not to love?

8. ADA Abbie Carmichael (Angie Harmon) on Law & Order

Ah, our first lady on the list! And the first District Attorney! Though Jill Hennessy’s Claire Kincaid might have been more popular, I always liked Harmon’s Abbie Carmichael. She was a tough talking Texas Republican, completely out of place in the much more liberal Manhattan DA’s office. She was the first outspoken Republican on the show and never shied away from making her views be known. What I loved about Abbie was that she was tough without coming across as a total bitch AND they didn’t portray her as some ideologue that could only talk in right wing talking points. They made her smart & capable and (in my opinion) a VAST improvement over the snoozefest that was Mrs. Richard Gere (Carey Lowell).

7. Detectives John Munch & Fin Tutuola (Richard Belzer & Ice T) Law & Order: SVU

These two come as a package deal. While they are good apart, they are SO much better together (like peanut butter & jelly). Quite the odd couple, Fin’s a tough (& Republican!) former gangbanger and Munch is a neurotic (& super liberal!) thrice married former Baltimore homicide detective. They play off eachother really well and sometimes act like an old married couple rather than cop partners. I love their genuine friendship…and the endless mocking that comes along with it. And sometimes they even solve crimes.

6. Detective Mike Logan (Chris Noth) on Law & Order & Criminal Intent

Though some prefer him as Mr. Big, Chris Noth will forever be Mike Logan to me. That leather trench coat! The plaid ties! The flag pin! That HAIR! I loved Mike Logan as the younger (& more volatile) partner, especially to Lennie (by far my favorite cop duo of the franchise), but I LOVED seeing him get partnered with someone younger, thus forcing him to take on the more senior (and responsible) role. Some of my favorite episodes are Logan-centric: the one freshest in my mind is from the first season when he was investigating the death of a little girl due to abuse. Horrific subject matter but it was the first time the audience really got any sort of backstory about Logan (and we got to see his “I’m a tough guy-but really a softie at heart”).

5. EADA Mike Cutter (Linus Roache) on Law & Order & SVU

If I could marry Michael Cutter, I would. He was the last in the looooong line of Executive Assistant District Attorneys. But you know they do save the best for last, right? Since he was only on for a few seasons, he didn’t get nearly as much screen time as, say , Sam Waterson (but more on that later), but what he did get was pure gold. I loved the bat he kept in his office (a la Danny Kaffee from “A Few Good Men”) and his willingness to bend the rules whenever he needed to in order to win his case. Sometimes reckless, (umm, he did blackmail the Governor of New York), but always in the “pursuit of justice”. Besides, he’s so dreamy. If there was ever a fictional “Mr. Stacey”, this would be him.

4. Detective Olivia Benson (Marsika Hargitay) on Law & Order: SVU

Since I already opined previously about my love for Olivia Benson in an earlier post, I’ll simply say this: Olivia is kick ass. End.Of.Story.

3. ADA (and later DA) Jack McCoy (Sam Waterson) on Law & Order

Best.Distict.Attorney.EVER. Even though my love for Mike Cutter knows no bounds, Jack McCoy will always be my numba one stunna. Besides being on the show for a hundred years and getting tons of great stories, he was just an all-around interesting character. The son of a Chicago beat cop, McCoy became a prosecutor after a stint in the 60’s counter culture. Basically, he was a former hippie that ended up working for the man (and later, ended up BEING “the man”). Awesome. Besides giving kick ass opening and closing statements, he was always hilarious (sometimes without meaning to be) while questioning witnesses. Besides, with the exception of Abbie, all of his lady lawyer cohorts were terminally useless (Serena Southerland, I am looking directly at you) so he ended up doing the work of TWO people.

2. Detective Bobby Goren (Vincent D’Onofrio) on Law & Order: Criminal Intent 

Bobby Goren personifies creepy. By far the most INTERESTING character the franchise has ever (and probably WILL ever) seen. You’re not entirely sure if he’s crazy (schizophrenia DOES run in his family) or if he is, just in fact, smarter than you. Maybe a little bit of both. In Casa D, Bobby Goren is also known as “the smartest man alive” as he has an encyclopedic knowledge of, well, everything. Ancient Chinese religious customs? Done. Neurobiology? Of course. The writings of a colonial era Revolutionary? He probably has the boxed set. Point Blank: he knows everything and makes whomever he’s questioning completely uncomfortable so they end up confessing (especially when he does that scary little head tilt thing. Yikes bikes).

1. Detective Lennie Briscoe (Jerry Orbach) on Law & Order & Trial By Jury 

Lennie Briscoe. The name is completely synonymous with the phrase “Law & Order”. In a franchise that is so heavily focused on plot and really has little room (or care) for its characters backstories, Lennie Briscoe was the first to really change that. Besides actually being believable as a cop (sorry Jesse L. Martin, you are far more believable as a singer-dancer on Broadway), he was really LIKABLE. So much so that sometimes the perps that he arrested actually wanted to be buddies with him (and, seriously, who wouldn’t want to be buddies with Lennie). Besides making a cop in a police serial not just likable but lovable and funny, he also had some excellent heavier storylines—most notably when Claire Kincaid was killed by a drunk driver as she was driving him home. He was the perfect blend of rough-around-the-edges and warm and fuzzy. The show really felt his absence for the first few seasons after his departure…and the world is STILL feeling his absence after his death. For me, there will NEVER be a character as well-loved as Lennie Briscoe.

Honorable Mention

Fred Thompson! (as Arthur Branch).

I don’t really remember much of his time on “Law & Order” other than he was a Republican District Attorney in Manhattan and he replaced the snoozefest known as the Diane Wiest years. So that in itself was enough for me to like him. But mostly because I like Fred Thompson…and not actually for his politics. I just like him because in the two times I met him (briefly!) he was nothing but really sweet to me after I made a fool out of myself in front of him.

Time #1: Summer 2001 in Washington DC

He was still in the Senate and I was there, spending time as part of a program. I was on a tour of the Capitol Building where they took us down onto the Senate floor (you know, where the Senators actually come and go). I was wearing a pair of broken shoes (sue me, I was 16) and had stopped to fix the strap that had fallen. My group got way ahead of me and as I stood up to chase after them, I physically RAN into a large man. I looked up…and had no idea who he was. But I noticed a pin on his lapel, put two and two together and realized he was a Senator. I was horribly embarrassed (seriously, I just body checked a member of Congress—I was DYING) and began a sixteen-year-old-girl psychotic babble of “I’m-so-sorrys”. He just laughed at me, said it was ok, and called me “sugar” (which was very sweet. He probably realized that I was a teenaged tourist from the midwest in WAY over her head). I stumbled back to my group, wanting to die of shame. A few hours later, we were all sitting in some committee room, waiting to hear from our speaker—the esteemed Senator from Tennessee, Fred Dalton Thompson. I was wearing a bright fuchsia top (because, duh, what ELSE are you supposed to wear to the Capitol)…and lo and behold, the Senator came out and I realized it was the very same man that  I had run into hours earlier. I was sitting near the front (so I could hear every single word out of the speakers mouth!) so there was nowhere for me to hide. I hoped he wouldn’t remember…but he saw me and (true story!) winked at me. Awesome and embarrassing in equal parts.

Time #2: late 2007 in Columbus, OH

I’ll keep this short. This was when he was running for President & he was making the rounds of campaign stops. One of the guys I worked for was a BIG Thompson guy & was one of his people in Ohio. In one of my rare days at home, I went into the office and, long story short, I got kept at the front desk because (since I was on the road so much), they didn’t know who I was. The rest of my coworkers were already upstairs in the offices, leaving me by myself. I found myself standing in the elevator bank…with Fred Thompson sans any entourage (I had no idea where they were). I had a feeling he was probably going to go upstairs to meet with the rest of his team. So, in one of my shining moments, I looked to this guy—a former US Senator, a guy running for PRESIDENT…and the ONLY thing I could think of to say to him was “Senator! I LOVED you on ‘Law and Order’!” The minute I said it, I wanted to die. Luckily, Fred Thompson is not only a really nice guy, but a total gentleman. He politely chuckled and thanked me as I wanted to go and crawl into a hole and die. I’m STILL shaking my head over that one.

So there you have it. Any comments or debates are totally welcome.

thanksgiving update!

I’m back from my self-imposed “break”. The holiday weekend and finals induced panic got me, but I’m breakin’ the cycle, people!

Thanksgiving was lovely (as always). It’s always so nice to have everyone in the house, eating and drinking and hanging out. My mom is a fabulous cook and made a DELISH dinner. I took lots of pictures which I promise I’ll post…once I find the camera cord. *whomp whomp*…

My sister & I went to go see “The Muppets” on Wednesday night. Oh.My.God. ADORABLE. Absolutely adorable. And, as predicted, five minutes in and the two of us were already crying. I’ll make sure to do a review of the movie because it’s worth talking about.

The rest of the weekend was spent (mostly) studying. But I did take a few hours out to help decorate the Christmas tree.

We were NEVER that family that put up the tree Thanksgiving weekend. In fact, I remember some years the tree not being put up until the 22/23. It’s not that we were a family of Grinches…we were just busy. But now, my mom LOVES to put the tree up right after Turkey Day. I think some of it has to do with the fact she’s obsessed with having her Christmas trees (yes, there are plural) look “just so”. I’m not kidding. After E and I would put ornaments on, if she didn’t like exactly where they were, she’d move them. I think her next career move should be in creating holiday displays in Department stores (and I’m not really kidding, either). I may joke that she takes the decorating thing WAY too seriously, but I have to admit. She has great taste and does a great job.

Here’s a picture of the tree, halfway done.

Sorry for the crappy iPhone camera, but I was livetweeting decorating. And, yes, I AM that lame.

It’s always fun putting up the tree. I LOVED it as a kid—I was always the one to beg to put up the tree as soon as possible. If it was acceptable to put the tree up in October, I probably would have…especially since I’m not the biggest fan of Halloween. Besides, it’s fun to look through old ornaments that we’ve accumulated over the years. My parents saved EVERYTHING we made as kids—every weird little ornament we’ve ever made. It’s also funny to be able to decipher who made what. Basically, if it is completely overdone and has more glitter than a Ke$ha concert, it was clearly made by baby Stacey (my glitter aficionado status was cemented at an early age). Also, fun fact? My kindergarten teacher one told my mom I was the worst colorer that she had ever seen in all her years of teaching (and she wasn’t exactly a spring chicken, if you catch my drift). This led to my mother making me practice coloring for most of my 5th (and 6th) year. Yup. I was forced to “practice” coloring…and cutting. Apparently my skillz weren’t up to snuff.

Aside from the homemade ornaments, it’s also hilarious to see the store-bought ornaments. Nic and I have a whole box filled with Barbie and Disney and American Girl Doll ones. If there was any sort of girly ornament marketed in a given year, you’d better believe that it was bought for the two of us. But that’s cute (I think, anyway). Who doesn’t want a Scarlett O’Hara or Molly McIntyre (from the American Girl collection. If you are a female and under the age of 35 and don’t know what that is, I feel sorry for you. You were robbed of a childhood) ornament?  Buying us girls ornaments was (is) fun.

Buying my brother ornaments? Not so fun. Aside from his “baby’s first christmas” ornaments, E has an entire collection of, well, ODD, ornaments. In place of dolls and angels, Erik has trucks and motorcycles. That’s right. Nothing says Christmas like Harley Davidson (especially if you’re a kid that doesn’t like motorcycles). All of his ornaments are either pickup trucks (at last count there was three), motorcycles (two), and, no tree would be complete without a Magic Johnson ornament.

Here’s E putting it up. Be jealous.

As you can imagine, there were lots of inappropriate jokes being told at poor Magic’s expense. But since this is a family-friendly blog, I’ll let you use your imaginations.

That’s really about it. Life will resume for me next week after exams (and regular blog posts, I swear). For now, I’ll leave you with a clip from the Soup (hands down one of the funniest shows on tv. And not just because my boyfriend Joel McHale hosts it.) Everyone knows about my love for Courtney Stodden and her weirdo husband, Doug Hutchinson (heart you guys! keep it riiiiiillll!) and my love of the Bravo! housewives. The Soup (I keep writing “the stoup”. blergh. It’s not a stupid Rachel Ray recipe) combined the two. The result. Only what I wish for in my dream of dreams.

Go to the E! website to check it out. Hilarious.

 

current obsessions

I don’t really have much to say today (for my thoughts on the Michele Bachmann-Jimmy Fallon drama rama you can go here). It’s the day before Thanksgiving in Casa D which means one thing: everyone will be home (yay!) and we’ll be doing a lot of this

and this

and watching a lot of this

But my favorite thing is that it’s now completely and totally acceptable to start watching Christmas movies.

Confession: I LOVE cheesy and horrible Christmas movies. The worse, the better. I’ve seen ABC Family’s opus Holiday in Handcuffs at least six times. Recipe for a Perfect Christmas? I will  have the DVR set. Anything starring Tori Spelling, Jennifer Grey or someone that “revived” their career by Dancing with the Stars? I.Am.IN. If it airs on ABC Family, Lifetime, or the Hallmark Channel, I will watch it. And I will LOVE it.

It’s not just made-for-tv movies either. Deck the Halls with Danny DeVito—I was probably one of three people (besides my brother and my sorority little) that actually paid money to go see it. And don’t even get me started on the awesomeness of Jingle All The Way

Arnold was clearly robbed of an Oscar.

But, in Casa D, there are two movies we watch on repeat for most of November and December: Home Alone (1 & 2) and Christmas Vacation. I’ve seen both more times than I can count. And, even though I’ve seen them both a hundred times, I still dissolve into fits of giggles when the Griswolds’ Christmas tree catches on fire   or when Kevin McCallister throws bricks at Marv’s head 

*giggles*

But mostly, it reminds me of my family (specifically my siblings and my dad) and makes me all warm & gooey inside.

Even as I write this, I’m sitting on the couch with my dog at my feet, Christmas Vacation on the television (and thinking about cracking open one of these suckers chilling in the garage ) and arguing with my dad about whether or not Johnny Galecki is a good Rusty or not (in summation: Stacey says yes, Lee the D says no)

Life is good.

I’ve been meaning to blog about my new favorite song for weeks, but haven’t found the right scenario to talk about it. Today, however, I don’t care if it’s a total non sequitur. I’m obsessed with it and have been playing it pretty much on a loop for the past three weeks. It’s that good

Oh Bruno Mars, because your song is so good, I’ll forgive that it is from Twilight and that K-Stew and R-Patz make cameos in the video. (if you weren’t able to watch the video, it’s Bruno Mars — “It Will Rain”. It’s amazing. If I could eat it for breakfast, I would).

Hope everyone has an amazing holiday!

i’m elbow deep in garbage juice

No, not right now. But earlier this evening I was.

I thought I lost my aunt’s wedding band that I had reset a few months ago. To say that I was panicked would be the understatement of the year. I was going bat-shit crazy. I tore apart my entire house—twice. No dice. Under couches, under tables. Nothing.

So I ended up, elbow deep in the garbage, tearing apart through the coffee grounds, banana peels, old dog food, and general nastiness. Nope, not there. I then, sucked up the remainder of my pride and went though the garbage that was already outside. Nope, not there either. I smelled like garbage and old dog food, still no ring, and was contemplating about how to take apart the vacuum cleaner.

At that point, I almost WISHED that I was chasing my stupid dog down in my neighbors’ yard.

I gave up, convinced that my ring (with not just actual monetary value, but a whole lot of sentimental value) was gone. I cursed St. Anthony for being absolutely no help. I went to change out of my garbage-y (so not a word, but an accurate description) clothes. I peeked one more time on my dresser. There, among the piles of makeup and costume jewelry, was my ring.

Duh.

While 99.9% of me was just thrilled that it was safe and not in the vacuum (or my dog’s bowels), the other .1% (the horrible ungrateful side) was pissed that I actually went through the garbage and was going to follow my dog around with a shovel for the next few days.

I’ve just come to terms that with me and my idiocy, as my homegirl, Roseanne Roseannadanna (aka Gilda Radner) used to say, “it’s always something.” If you don’t know who Gilda or Roseanne is, you are missing out. Do yourself a favor and check out her Commencement speech to the Columbia Journalism School (fast forward to 5:55 if you just want to see her catchphrase) 

One of the funniest women to ever have lived and definitely the funniest to have ever been on SNL (although Kristen Wiig gives her a run for her money. I don’t count Tina Fey ONLY because I consider Tina more of a writer than a cast member).

That’s it for today. It’s getting to be the end of November (yikes!) and the end of NaBloPoMo…and I can’t believe I’m still on track. Crazy. I wish I could say the same for NaNoWriMo (I am so far behind, I’m too embarrassed to even tell you guys how bad it is). I was going to sit down and write a ton tonight…but after the whole ring escapade (I’m still SO mad at myself) and the fact that there is an entire evening of Law & Order (Michael Cutter episodes! yay!) on TNT, I’m clearly spoken for.

But as Scarlett would say