Oscars liveblog!

Every time an awards show airs, I get it in my head that I’ll do a liveblog. But every time I forget about it and end up drinking wine out of a red plastic tumbler.

But this year my only drink of choice is Diet Coke, meaning I’ll be able to ACTUALLY liveblog.

I know you’re all pumped.

7:59: Sort through twitterfeed and make witty retorts about Nick Nolte.

8:07: The Hunger Games trailer airs. I squeal a little. I am so excited for this movie, it’s ridiculous. Calm myself down and eat a black & white cookie.

8:11: Roll eyes at George Clooney and his walking Oscar Barbie (Stacy Keibler). He flirts with Robin Roberts while OB (Oscar Barbie) looks on, unsure of what she’s supposed to say. Tim Gunn talks to Brad Pitt who looks like he needs a shower.

8:15: montage of who celebs think will win/want to win. Clooney says he’s rooting for the Descendants. In other shocking news, the sky is blue.

8:17: This Google Commercial airs. I’m obsessed. 

8:23: I definitely would want to hang out with Tom Hanks. Also? Brian Grazer has really weird hair.

8:26: Roommate, T, walks in and says “Of course you’d be watching this.” I throw an empty diet coke can at him and tell him he’s the worst.

8:31: Roommate, L, walks in and comments that Morgan Freeman is a baller for wearing two different earrings

8:32: Billy Crystal shows up.

8:33: Billy Crystal proceeds to do a little Oscars intro. Worst moment? Seeing a Ginger Billy. That’s something I’ll never unsee.

8:37: Billy’s inevitable song and dance. I can’t help it. I’m smiling. Apparently, accords to the twitters, everyone else hates it. Whatever.

8:43: Some guy that looks like Billy Connolly wins some award that no one cares about. Some Italians win another award no one cares about.

8:55: Realize liveblogging and livetweeting at the same time was a terrible idea. Briefly consider scrapping both and opening a bottle of wine. Decide against the wine and continue blogging and tweeting until my little fingers bleed.

8:56: Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz present ‘best costume design’ and both look terrible. Jennifer’s dress was both shiny and pleated, Cameron’s had weird shiny parts and feathers. Awful.

9:00: More boring awards. Receive tweet from my pal, Zac, telling me how wrong I am about J-Lo & Cameron. Have to explain the difference between girl hot and guy hot. Also, must remind me that the Oscars are not the cover of FHM.

9:05: Sandra Bullock presents the award for foreign language film. Think about how awesome she is, but that her dress is awful.

9:13: Octavia Spencer wins Best Supporting Actress. Boring. I’d have rather seen Melissa McCarthy win. Also? Getting bored with twitter. No one is appreciating my witty barbs.

9:20: Some weird black and white Christopher Guest bit. But I do love me some Fred Willard and Catherine O’Hara. I didn’t understand it, but I’m a fan. And if you haven’t seen For Your Consideration, please remedy it immediately.

9:25: Tina Fey, Bradley Cooper and Bradley Cooper’s mustache present a bunch of awards that no one cares about. Also? What’s the difference between sound mixing and sound editing. They sound the same.

9:35: Kermit and Miss Piggy show up and introduce the creepiness that is Cirque de Soleil. I think about using this time to refresh my diet coke.

9:37: Cirque de Soleil is creepier than I remember. Not even a nod to North by Northwest can save it.

9:40: Billy Crystal makes fun of Christopher Plummer. No one mocks Captain Von Trapp & gets away with it.

9:41: Robert Downey Jr. shows up and I forget my anger at Billy. He’s wearing a very dapper silver sparkly bow-tie. I’m in love.

9:45: Chris Rock is still the unfunniest person in the room. And tells a race joke. In other shocking news: the sky is blue.

9:52: Emma Stone is adorable. But I’m pretty sure Nicole Kidman wore the same dress a few years ago.

9:55: Jason Isaacs need to be in more. I don’t care what. He just needs to be in my life more.

9:58: Melissa Leo manages to get through her intro without dropping an F-bomb. An improvement over last year. Also? If anyone but Christopher Plummer wins Best Supporting Actor, it is fixed.

10:00: Christopher Plummer wins. I won’t have to write a nasty letter to the Academy. Captain Von Trapp finally wins an Oscar. And his acceptance speech was perfect.

10:07: Start to get bored with the entire show. Contemplate going to sleep.

10:09: Billy Crystal does a dead-on Martin Scorsese impression. And a dead-on Nick Nolte.

10:16: Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis show up in white tails with cymbals. I have no idea why, except that it’s awesome.

UPDATE: Yes, I did fall asleep. Sadly, the Oscars didn’t hold my attention this year.


misadventures with the United States Post Office

It’s no secret I’m not a fan of the Post Office. In fact, on most days, I rather loathe it. Last Saturday’s fiasco with the Arlington branch(es) only fueled my hate-fire (is that a word? If it isn’t, it should be. I’m submitting it to Webster’s next year) of the USPS.

Since moving to DC, I’ve been incredibly homesick. Despite having friends in the area (whom I don’t get to see often because I work so much), it’s been a pretty lonely experience. There have been a few occasions when all I’ve wanted to do is hope in my car and drive the 6 hours to Cleveland to crash on my parents’ couch with my dog.

But I haven’t. Mostly because there’s so much to do with work…but also because just the thought of driving for 6 hours makes me sleepy.

My poor parents have shouldered the brunt of my homesickness-meltdowns (Hi, guys. Thanks for not hanging up on me.) and I’m sure have rolled their eyes when they see its me calling for another round of “Guess Why I’m Crying Today?”

But instead of changing their phone numbers, they sent me a care package from the C-L-E (seriously, how great are they? I definitely don’t deserve them). When I got home from my pal Leah’s farewell fiesta last Friday, I saw the ‘sorry we missed you, you have a package’ card. My mom sent it certified, mainly because she’s afraid someone will steal my mail.

I stopped by the post office near my house first thing on Saturday morning. I handed the card to the super helpful bureaucrat who looked like she would rather be 100 other places, including the dentist. She took one look at the card and promptly told me she couldn’t help me.

“But I live two blocks from here!” I cried. “This is my post office!”

She (super)helpfully pointed to the address on the card. “This says you have to go to the Jackson Avenue branch. We don’t have it here.”

I again tried to tell her that even though I just moved here, I was pretty sure my package would be at the branch closest to my house.

SHB (Super Helpful Bureaucrat) essentially rolled her eyes and said I needed to go to the other post office. I sighed, but acquiesced. I wanted whatever was in the care package and was not about to wait until Tuesday for it (since Monday would be President’s Day = no mail service). I hop in my car, plug in the address to the GPS and see that it’s not TOO far from me.

This is when things got weird(er).  Continue reading

Happy Valentine’s Day from Courtney & Doug

Well, CPAC is over and the site is officially launched. I’m exhausted, but in a really good way. (side note: I am also sick. I wasn’t aware of the CPAC plague until this year. Although I may have gotten sick in college after going, I don’t really remember).

CPAC was equal amounts stress and fun. Our booth was a success, our publication launched, Reaganpalooza was well attended, and I got to meet Chuck Woolery. Yes, good times by all. I know if you spoke to me on Saturday afternoon, I was a mess (sorry about that!). I was SO exhausted and stressed and I missed my family (and home) so much. But, I went to the party, got some sleep, and woke up feeling much better. Except for the flu bug. That was still there (and it still sucked).

The highlight of CPAC (aside from seeing old friends from college whom I absolutely adore), was when my friends and I ended up the Newt 2012 pizza party. We weren’t allowed into the OTHER party we were supposed to be at (Thanks, Murphy’s Pub for being such a-holes about it, too), we ended up at Newt’s. A big thanks to the Newt people for giving two very tired (and hungry!) writers some pizza.

That brings us to today. Valentine’s Day. Specifically how my favorite trainwreck and her grandpa-husband are celebrating V-Day.

Aww, look at that. They’re re-creating Lady and the Tramp. So cute. Go here to see the full Daily Mail piece. But I’d advise against reading it if you’re eating anything. You will likely choke on your own vomit.

In other news, I lost my cell phone at CPAC. Yup. One minute I’m sitting in the media room, covering Andrew Breitbart’s speech, and then next I’m freaking out at the front desk about my phone. I ordered a Blackberry to get me through the next few months (before I can switch back to Verizon! Hopefully the iPhone 5 will be out by then). I already miss my poor iPhone. Sads.

A bunch of my friends were in town for CPAC, but I really didn’t get to spend much time with them. I worked basically the entire time, but I did manage to have dinner with them on Saturday. But two hours was definitely not enough. I’m excited that they’re coming back in two months for YRLC!

Life’s good, though. I still miss home (and I think I always will), but I love my job and DC is growing on me. Hopefully I’ll be getting home in the next few weeks: baby showers and weddings are on the agenda 🙂


update update update

I PROMISE, you guys, that I’ll start writing again regularly. I know it’s no excuse (but really, it is!), but things have been absolutely crazy the past few weeks. Between accepting what, for all intents and purposes, is my dream job (no really, it is) to moving out-of-state and then STARTING said dream job all in a very short period, my stress level has increased exponentially.

But it’s really good, really amazing stress.

Moving was not as horrible as I thought it would be. It was horrible, yes, but by definition, moving is horrible. I was pretty weepy (read: VERY weepy) the week between looking for a place in DC and MOVING to DC. I had dinner with my pregnant BFF and I don’t know who was more teary-eyed—her or me.

In the two weeks since being here, my life has been a complete whirlwind. I’m loving every minute of it (including the ‘up all night’ editing parties the editor and I have had!) and have gotten to meet some really wonderful people. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I’m doing exactly what I’ve been dreaming about since I was a kid. I have to pinch myself at least twice a day to make sure it’s all actually real.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not homesick. Ohio will always have my heart, mostly because my family and lots of close friends are there. It kills me that I’m missing out on watching my sister try and housetrain her new puppy, missing all of the baby-related stuff with Sarah, and a myriad of other family/friend related things.

But what hurts the most is not being there when someone passes away.

This past week a very dear college friend’s mother passed away and I wasn’t able to be there for her. She’s going through so much right now and handling it with such strength. She gives new meaning to the phrase “Grace Under Fire.” I adored her mother and was so sad to hear of her death. All I wanted was to hop in the car and be there for my friend and her family. However, with my publication’s launch tomorrow, it just wasn’t possible.

That brings me to this morning. I found out my great Aunt Hanna passed away last night. She was the last living sibling of my grandfather’s (who passed away 10 years ago tomorrow), so her death really feels like the closing of a very big chapter in my family’s history. I’m sure that she was welcomed into heaven with open arms and lots of smiles and hugs last night, but it doesn’t make it any less sad. I have nothing but lovely memories of her: even when she fell ill toward the end of her life, I still always pictured her as a blonde dynamo, flitting about, giving the best hugs, and being the first one on the dance floor at ANY family function. I’ll remember her laughter, her great sense of humor, and her fierce love of her family. I was so blessed to know her and be a part of her family. The world is little less lovely today without her in it.

That’s the worst part about living away from your family (especially if you have a close knit family like mine): times when you just want to be home, sleeping in your old bed & wishing the big bad world would go away, you’re hundreds of miles away. I don’t care how old you are, sometimes all you want is your mom. And today, I just want mine.

To be fair, my parents were in town this past weekend (where they witnessed the de-Occupation of McPherson Square. It definitely deserves a separate post), so I’m really just being selfish. But today, really, all I want is my mom.

I didn’t mean this to be such a downer post, but I definitely wanted to get something up today. Promise the next post will be MUCH lighter.