someday…(Justin Bieber will eventually go away)

Since I DVR just about everything I watch, I rarely see commercials. However, today I was watching a terrible made-for-tv Lifetime holiday movie starring Dr. Johnny Fever and Janet Gavin—obvs not their real names, but since Howard Hesseman & Andrea Roth haven’t been in anything else noteworthy (with the exception of Hesseman’s tenure on “Head of the Class”—a longtime S-Dizzle favorite) they will forever be known as that DJ from WKRP and Tommy Gavin’s crazy wife. I can’t even tell you what the movie was about other than Janet Gavin wearing a chauffeur’s hat for most of the movie and being set up with a gay guy.

I’m getting off track. This is about commercials. A Justin Bieber commercial in particular

I saw this little gem and found myself laughing myself into an asthma attack. I don’t know what’s the funniest part—Justin Bieber singing an annoying Christmas song in the middle of a tree farm and then in the middle of the street or the fact that someone is selling his perfume at a random outdoor kiosk in the middle of said tree farm.

There are so many questionable things about this. Is that his girlfriend? Did he see her window shopping and go “I must have her. Immediately. I shall show her what a man I am buy taking her to a Christmas tree farm and spraying her with some cheap smelling perfume!”?

If it was his girlfriend, I’d be super annoyed that for Christmas my uber pop star boyfriend gave me a crappy bottle of his nasty smelling perfume. I’d begin to question all of my life choices that had lead up to that moment.

If it was someone he just met, it gets even weirder. How does he know where she lives? And why does the note say “I knew someday that we’d be together.” Creepy. If Justin Bieber sent me that little gift, I’d probably call my attorney and request a restraining order and check my house for bugs and buy a really big guard dog that could take out Justin Bieber in two seconds.

I suppose Justin Bieber needs to do everything he can now…before the eventual flood of paternity suits. You KNOW this lady is going to be calling soon.

“Justin Bieber owes me!”


3 thoughts on “someday…(Justin Bieber will eventually go away)

  1. “I knew someday that we’d be together” is so kidnapper-y. It’s the thing the bad guy in the movie says as he ties your hands with rope and puts duct tape on your mouth. NO THANKS BIEBER.


  2. i love jb! think on the talent, he’s probably nothing (really) special but the kid does have good lucks and what can i say, sometimes it’s just a matter of being in the right place at the right time and being spotted by the right people. lucky lil dude!

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